Finalization Day!

Hmmm... "Finalization Day" - that would be a great name for a movie... like the sequel to "Mars Attacks!"...

Michael is actually writing this one… (Like the 1st sentence above wasn't a dead giveaway...)

Well, this has been a day for the books… literally! Today, Daniel officially became our son. And the moment felt every bit as stupendous, joyful, momentous, and liberating as we thought it would be – and more!

I’ll skip the trivial details for now – don’t worry, I’ll include them at the end, because, let’s face it, my audience expects trivial drool and minutiae from me… (from Daniel, just drool…)

The day’s important activities took place not at the actual courthouse building in Ft. Worth, but in the “Family Law Center” cady-corner from the courthouse. This added an entire two minutes to our walk, as our wonderful hotel is a block from the courthouse. The Family Law Center is 5 or 6 stories tall and has many courtrooms in it. We met with our lawyer at the center at 11:45 this morning, and basically just made sure that on the paperwork all of our names were spelled correctly, our address was correct (what? no, we don’t live in California…{That was a joke, everyone...}), Daniel’s birthday was correct, etc… After the brief meeting, we went down one floor to the courtroom area where we met Daniel’s transitional caregivers, Sharon and Don (whom we had not met at placement due to their having a family emergency). We are so happy that they were able to be there to be part of this special occasion. They are even more wonderful in person, by the way. And they had a month-old little one with them who basically slept over the next 2 hours – he was very cute.

So, we and all the other families basically killed time for about an hour… the courtroom didn’t open until about 1pm. There were 4 Gladney families (of which, we went first), but about 10 other families there – who went before the Gladney families. All of these families were local (I think), and most had multiple family members there.

So we took our seats in the courtroom, and the Judge explained how wonderful it was that the court now did adoption this way all on one day rather than as single events scattered throughout the normal depressing cases of ordinary days, because in this way they can celebrate the adoptions in the way they deserve to be celebrated. By this point, my eyes were already getting moist.

They had a whole cadre of stuffed animals sitting up around the judge’s bench, and each adopted child and each child family member present got to take one. It’s kind of amusing to see a judge surrounded by stuffed bears and beagles…

So, the 10 or so local families were started. Most of these adopted children were Asian (mostly Chinese, maybe one Korean), and the youngest seemed about 10 months, but most were older. The bailiff would call up the family, and the whole family goes up, and the Judge (a very nice woman) asks all of the assembled family to raise their right hand and swear that they were about to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth (an aside – three things – the swearing was not done on a Bible, the words “so help me God” were not included, and… what do you do if you don’t have a right hand?) and the Judge basically asks the Father if their marriage is sound and if he intends that he and his wife are to adopt this child, and if he understands what adoption means, and – this is the tear-jerker- if he will “love this child forever and ever.” She then asks the wife if her answers are substantially the same. Then, in the case of other family members, she asks them as well if they will love this child. In one case, there was a young sibling about 5 or 6 years old, and when the Judge asked if she would love her new sister, she said, resoundingly, yes! So… I’m tearing up during these…

Sharon and Don were sitting with us this whole time, which was sweet.

So… when we’re called up, Holly is holding Daniel, and I have a grin on my face 1.6 kilometers wide, and Sharon and Don come up with us, and the Judge asks, “Are these the grandparents?,” and the lawyer and Holly explain who Sharon & Don are, and the Judge breaks into a big smile and says, “That’s wonderful!” (By the way – none of the four Gladney families – 3 of which were from out of town, I think - had any other family there – just the father, mother, and child.) So she asks me all the questions, and I answer w/ a big grin on my face, and when the Judge asks about loving Daniel forever and ever my voice finally cracks and my eyes get moist… duh… like, there’s a shocker… and as the Judge then asks Holly about her loving Daniel, Daniel, with the perfect timing one gets from a lifetime of acting, at that moment settles his head onto Holly’s shoulder and snuggles, and the Judge laughs and says, “Well, we certainly see that he loves you!” and “We can see that he is a very happy baby!” and she then made it official and then posed for pictures with us (& Don and Sharon) and I shook the Judge’s hand and said a very heartfelt “Thank you very, very much!” through red eyes. Holly, of course, held it together and just beamed the whole time, but as we left the courtroom for the Jury break room (punch and cookies and wait for the copy of the paperwork), Holly turned to me, hugged me and said, “I love you.” And the 3 of us hugged (Daniel sandwich) and it was wonderful.

OK, other trivial details…

The hotel at which we are staying is the Renaissance Worthington, and it is fantastic. The service here is great, and everyone is friendly as all get out. It’s in the middle of a fairly big restaurant and entertainment district. (Props to Jane and Greg for the recommendation of this hotel, and for the stuffed horsey that they brought back from here for Daniel). I had one of the best breakfasts of my life in the restaurant here this morning (Vidalia’s – “Southern Cuisine”). I started with amazing yellow grits (don’t think I’ve ever had yellow grits before), and then had the special “Eggs Benedict” – except their take on it is a sweet potato muffin, with country ham, and sausage gravy. Out of this world. (And off the cholesterol scale…).

Lunch was one cookie in the Jury break room.

Dinner was amazing. We walked, oh, it must be 100, maybe 150 feet, to a steak place called Realta. The main courses (Holly – tenderloin & shrimp; Michael – Buffalo rib-eye and both had mashed potatoes) were very good, but the appetizer and the desserts were amazing, awe-inspiring, culinary delights of the first degree. (Gee, ya think I liked them?) Our appetizer was a serving of 3 massive beef tamales heavily garnished with “pecan mush” and also lightly garnished w/ tomatoes, cheese, and a small bit of sour cream. We finished 2 of the 3. For dessert, Holly had caramelized banana “tacos” w/ chocolate sauce and vanilla ice cream, and I had a chocolate tamale bread pudding w/ chocolate garnish and dulce de leche ice cream. Yes, I know I gave chocolate up for lent… but this was a once in a life-time dessert…

Oh, Daniel had the ever-popular Gerber’s bananas and apples beforehand…

I shan’t go over the 40 minute ordeal yesterday that was installing the infant car-seat in the rental car… except that I won’t need stitches.

So, as I write this, our son is sleeping peacefully a few feet away from me (yes, you read that correctly, “peacefully”). Our son. 6 months ago, leaving Gladney, I was feeling the enormity of it all… we arrived at a building with an empty infant car seat in the back of a Buick, and 90 minutes later we left the building with a 27-day old life that was going to be our responsibility for the rest of our lives! Not that I wasn’t happy – I was very, very happy, but it was also a lot to absorb and it took a few hours.

So, nothing has really changed. We are no more or less parents than we were this morning. But… now it’s legal. Now Daniel is legally ours, in every sense of the term, just like every other child either born to his or her parents, or adopted. There’s no enormity here for me, just an incredible feeling of joy, of celebration, of relief. Now no one can ever take him away from us. Even though there was basically no way that could have happened anyway… now it is FINAL. :-) And we are so very, very, very, very happy!!!!

Pictures to follow tomorrow night.